never be

right now. i just wanna quit school and do whatever i want to do.
wanna step back and see what the world actually looks like.
though. there is some kinda gravity. forced me to stick on the ground.
whenever i looked up. i see clouds. i see birds. i see sun. it is always merely a visual thing
they are always beyond reach
it is like a caged bird. knowing it is capable of flying freely in the sky.
but can never break the cage. every single emotion. is trapped.
as time goes by. all the dreams have been destroyed. all broken into small pieces.
you tried to collect those broken pieces and put them into a box. and name it "dreams"
that is because u know they were once your hope that kept you alive
they were so precious. so pure.
however. you fail. never able to get all the pieces into the box.
new traps are coming. aggressively invading your dignity and faith
when dignity can no longer stand by itself. faith collapses.
you end up with a half empty box of dreams and new traps.
struggling. fighting against the rules of the world.
wanna break that cold separating cage which kills all your feelings
as the tally on the board that records your failure has increased
your sense of an individual is fading away. just like the painting of an old building
eventually. your mind is replaced by the world's.
you are another brick. fitting into the wall so beautifully.

looking up into the sky. expecting to see the clouds. the birds. the sun.
however. i see other bricks that are above me. identical ones.
it doesn't matter. i will fit in. imagining they are the clouds. the birds. the sun.
pushing all my hopes back into where they came from.
soon. i lose the ability to distinguish between the sky and the bricks.
whenever i look up. i am unable to tell
if that is the sky. or is that just the bricks.